Thursday, January 17, 2008

Measuring Contests

Most women have known since they were teenage girls that most of what (most)Men do is really nothing more than a glorified penis-measuring-contest.

My car is faster/larger/fancier/more phallic-looking than yours...

My house is bigger/in a better neighborhood/has a better shed than yours...

My job pays more/is more prestigious/gets me more girls than yours...

Like Capt. Jack Sparrow and Capt. Barbossa in PotC III comparing the size of their spyglasses - it seems that everything guys do is a big contest to see who is bigger/better/shinier... in essence, who has the bigger peen.

I suppose this is a throwback to the stone ages when well-hung would be more evident due to somewhat less well-tailored apparel (swing that loincloth, Og!!)

What I find horrible is that they've taken to extending (pun intended) to religion. "My God is better than YOUR God" has been going on since those same almost-prehistoric times, this isn't something new. IIRC, it was either Elijah or Elisha who had a "Burn the Sacrifice" contest between "Baal" and the god of the Israelites.

This is all well and good - have fun, burn cattle - but when it becomes so serious that folks are willing to murder other folks simply because they won't admit that their God has a bigger peen... well...

And they've all done it! You got your Jews in the Old Testament running roughshod through their "promised land" killing all the folks because their G_D is mightier than the godless heathen gentiles...

Then you have your Romans, doing the Crucifiction and lion-wrestling thang to wipe out those pesky new-age Xtians...

So of course, in time, the Xtians turn around and go postal on the godless heathen Native Americans - and harmless lil' pagans - and anyone the Spanish Inquisition just doesn't happen to like....

So now why are we surprised that the Moslems want to get in on the act, screaming " Allahu Akbar " and then whacking off people's heads that they don't like?

I can tell you one thing....

Senator Obama has a larger peen than Senator Clinton.

368 days

Monday, January 14, 2008

I got gas last nite....

Shaddup, Lea.

I got GASOLINE - not digestive upset from the nice Mexican fiesta meal I had. *burp*
(excuse me)

I haven't bought gasoline at Shell for quite a while, despite them being directly across the street from the entrance to our subdivision, because they are pricey and always crowded. But I was in a hurry yesterday because I had a sore throat and it was flurrying and I wasn't about to go gasoline shopping when I felt like death warmed over from the shoulders to the chin.

It will be a LONG time before I go back to Shell.

Technology is not always a good thing. The Shell station has this new "feature" - TV while you Fill-Up. Apparently the network with the Peacock has done a deal with Shell to provide "entertainment" while you pump gas. Oh joy. (*puke*)

I do not watch television. I own two television sets, one may not work anymore, I'm not sure, as it has been years since it has been turned "on". (SHUT UP, LEA!!! *giggle*) The other one I use only to watch DVD movies. I do occasionally - VERY occasionally - watch a sports event, and every Xmas I watch the Nutcracker on PBS (shaddup, Visionary...) I do this quite deliberately as I feel that Television is... horrible. Boring. Stupid. Trite.

Television at the gasoline pump is mind-numbingly ghastly.

I also note that one of the billboards on the way to work has become a hugeongeous television set as well. Sickening. It's like living in an old "Future Shock" novel. STOP THE MADNESS. We don't need no more stinking television!!!!!!

371 days